After all these years, what is left to show? You tried to swim to the bottom but you swam too low. Was it to drown your sorrow or a place to call home? You take a swig off the bottle, take a drag, and drive home. Yeah, you shake at the thought, it chills you down to the bone, 'cause it reminds you of the way things were back home. Sitting at a red light, staring into the dark...you come to think of it: home never felt so far. Now it all comes flashing back, the memories you thought had passed: the ghosts that haunt this house and the love that never lasts. (You could still smell the cigarette smoke as he took off down the cul-de-sac. Nothing's been the same since then. Nothing's been the same since.) Now here you are, in the blistering cold, clutching the wheel with one hand, begging that he will pick up the phone. For years I watched you hold your breath through every ring 'til the tears streamed down your face...why the hell would things be different now? (Why the hell would things be different now? Why the hell should things be different now?). I still remember every promise you made, I never thought I'd feel a promise break the way it broke me...the way this sat in my throat 'til I was choking, I can't stomach this anymore. To put the bottle down, to pick your heart off the ground, to put the past on the shelf, is it too much to ask now? Lilac, why did you wither away from the beauty that was yours into dust and decay? You let him pick your petals just to blow them away to the wind as he whispered all your wishes in vain.
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